Jessica Valenti posted this on Facebook, and I thought she was bringing up an incredibly crucial point to help us make sense of this whole nightmare that happened in Newton, CT. This is an advertisement for the gun that shooter Adam Lanza used to kill 26 people:


What many people (usually the haters) don't understand is that feminism isn't just about changing the roles of women, it's also about changing the roles of men. And by that I mean breaking down the constraints that men are subjected to simply because of their gender. This is a perfect example of how our society has taught us that being "manly" means engaging in violent acts. I mean, come on, how many symbols of masculinity in pop culture that young boys grow up idolizing are largely associated with guns?





When we're teaching impressionable boys that to be a "man" is to inflict violence on others, how can we possibly be surprised that these violent outbursts keep happening? Often, the shooter is someone who was an outcast and was possibly bullied incessantly. Now think about the fact that while being told by their peers that they weren't worthy of the respect a "man" gets, they're being bombarded by endless societal aspects that say, "being a man = being violent."

So, yes, I do believe stricter gun control laws can definitely help the problem, but we also need to look at the underlying cause: our culture's warped view of masculinity.

I didn't really understand the vastness of this problem until I saw the documentary"Tough Guise: Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity." In it, anti-sexist male activist Jackson Katz explains the direct link between the messages we're sending to boys about what it is to be a man and the rampant violence that we're faced with. It is a huge problem. And far too many people are overlooking it.

For some reason, despite the fact that "don't hit a woman" is quite a popular mantra in our culture, most people seem to not give two shits that Chris Brown once bludgeoned and threatened to kill his then-girlfriend, Rihanna.

It was clear from that incident that Chris Brown is a very disturbed man who has serious issues and represents something that we should NOT glorify, especially as a role model for young men and boys. His career should have been over following the many, many horrifying details and photos that were released demonstrating the seriousness of that situation, but it seems that now the dust has settled and Chris Brown has emerged virtually unscathed.

He should be insanely grateful that his worst problem that emerged from this scandal is an angry Twitter remark here and there from his seemingly few haters, but no. The latest person to criticize him via Twitter, Jenny Johnson, sparked Brown's obviously rampant bad temper, causing him to verbally attack her, calling her a "bitch" and a "hoe" and other things I can't bring myself to repeat.

The whole exchange was a CLEAR AS FUCKING DAY sign that Chris Brown learned absolutely nothing about how to treat women. And his fans learned absolutely nothing about not worshiping a terrible human being. But alas, in their eyes Brown can do no wrong, hence the thousands of death threats they tweeted towards Johnson for daring to speak harsh words towards their beloved woman-beater.

Chris Brown is publicly treating women like dogs and getting away with it.

Here is the latest example: this past Tuesday, during an interview with Howard Stern, the Game, who refers to Chris Brown as "like a little brother to me," said this when asked about Brown's violence towards Rihanna:

"I feel like he made it back OK, and they're back together. What I thought of it, I just figured they were young and that was just, you know, one of those Hollywood mishaps. I don't think it'll happen again."

Oh, you know, yeah he punched a woman repeatedly and threatened to kill her, but it's totally just one of those funny Hollywood hijinx. We can all laugh about it now!

You really have got to be kidding me.

And what is that bullshit about "it won't happen again"?! Um, does he not remember Chris Brown verbally attacking a woman on Twitter last month and threatening to shit in her eye?

Yeah, he really "made it back OK."

Howard Stern was smart enough to ask the Game if he would be as forgiving towards Chris Brown if he had beaten up Game's own daughter. He didn't have an answer, which means, "Hell fucking no, he would be dead to me."

The point is that not only is violence again women alive and well (and rampant) but so are the people who are perpetuating it. And I don't just mean those who physically raise a hand to a woman, but the people who fail to hold abusers accountable for their actions. Chris Brown got away with it all because we let him. We are still glorifying and honoring him, despite the fact that he did something seemingly unforgivable. His fans threatened to murder the person who most recently dared to remind the world what he has done.

This whole ordeal has been a good indicator of how much of a problem violence against women really is... because we're not just up against the abusers, we're also up against every single person who's ready to stand by the abuser's side and defend his actions.

**TRIGGER WARNING**

Many of us know that victim-blaming in the case of rape and sexual assault is entirely too common. Of course, there are plenty of others who don't know or just don't care, and that's how we get anti-rape ads like this that are counterproductive because they reinforce the ever-popular myth that if a woman is drinking or wearing provocative clothing, she's just asking to be raped.

That's why it's refreshing to see some anti-rape ads that actually - GASP! - put the blame on the rapist. I don't know where they get these crazy concepts.

I'm referring to the new set of ads produced by Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton (SAVED), a Canada-based anti-sexual assault organization. Here are a few of the PSAs:


What I like about these ads is that it puts the responsibility of preventing women being raped entirely on the potential rapists. Rather than saying, "You women who get drunk better watch out because you're gonna get raped!" they're saying, "Listen, women get too drunk sometimes. It happens. But that doesn't mean it's an invitation for you to take advantage of her."

They simplify the concept so that it's easy to understand and there are no gray areas: if a person cannot consent, don't touch them... because that's what rape is.

I also like that they show two men in one of their ads since rape can come in all forms.

SAVED invites you to use their posters in your own community. The wider we spread these concepts, the better.

I just want to let you all know that this exists:


Actually, when I physically held the game in my hands last week and surprisingly resisted the urge to throw up all over it, it looked like this:
I know what you're thinking: "Ha ha! 'Battle of the Sexes' board game? Too funny. What kind of questions do they ask? Tool questions for the men and cooking questions for the women?"

Um. Yeah, pretty much. Well, actually, the women answer the manly questions and the men answer the ladyfolk questions to see which gender is better... or something. Men answering questions about pantyhose?! That's so wacky and unnatural, why it's almost HILARIOUS! Here are the instructions:

Players divide into two teams: men vs. women. The goal is to move your team's pawns across the game board. Along the way teams will have to answer questions about the opposite sex in order to move.

These are examples of "man" questions:
1. How many lugs are on the typical wheel?
2. Where is the Superdome located?

These are examples of "woman" questions:
1. How do you stop a run in stockings?
2. What type of nut is used to make marzipan?

I feel like the person who made this doesn't know anything about women and men, aside from the knowledge they gained from watching endless marathons of 1950s sitcoms. I'm amazed at this board game's ability to take something as complex as human beings and reduce them to two-dimensional caricatures. Here's one more snippet from the game's instructions:

To spice things up, the battle gets a little tougher with wild cards. These cards could either propel you to an easy victory-- for buying diamonds for her birthday-- or send you catapulting backwards-- for borrowing his razor to shave your legs!

Just... stop it. Given the choice between the two, I would happily opt for the *NSYNC board game.


That's how much I DON'T want to EVER find out what is inside the box of the "Battle of the Sexes" board game. I feel like if I were ever open it, it would immediately start yelling at me to make it a sandwich.

Men's magazines are usually pretty predictable in that we can expect them to write mostly about things than manly-men love, like boobs and how to touch boobs and how to be like guys who touch a lot of boobs. Boobs. But I can say that I never expected "lads' magazine" Zoo Weekly to post GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT IS THAT?!?!

That is just... disturbing. No, wait. The comments left by their super intelligent fans are what's disturbing:


Luke and Andrew are my favorites. Real stand-up guys. Although Andrew might want to update his humor because I can't believe sexist douchebags are STILL using "women = sandwich makers" as their primary put-down of our gender.


The horrendous disembodied woman has since been taken down after a complaint issued by the Advertising Standards Bureau... because, y'know, they have standards and all. Seriously, Zoo Weekly should know that the only thing that can pull off the sexy-halved-woman routine is Beetlejuice.

Today, activists all over the world are gathering on bridges to show their support for gender equality. It might be too late to attend a bridge gathering near you, but you can see from this map just how many bridge events happened across the globe. Pretty incredible.

There are plenty of other IWD events to attend today/tonight, so find one near you.



Google even dedicated one of its famous doodles to International Women's Day.

Head on over to the IWD website for some cool stuff, including photos of women celebrating all over the world. And if you're a social media junkie like myself, read Mashable's "How To Support International Women's Day Using Social Media." By the way, look to your right to see IWD on Twitter.

Mashable also posted this nifty video from Equals that lists many of the ways women and men are not equal (and it features Daniel Craig in drag!)



Even if you just stay at home today, find a way to celebrate. Enjoy today, enjoy how far we've come, and enjoy the women who did so much to get us here.

Really, Virgin Atlantic? You couldn't have made a commercial without the horrific gender stereotypes? Apparently they want us to live in a world where the men are the pilots and the businessmen, and the (skinny, white) women are flight attendants dressed in short red skirts and stripper heels. Thanks, Virgin, for your big middle finger to the feminist movement.

Though I may not write about it too often, prisoner rights is a feminist concern. Women and non-gender conforming prisoners find themselves uniquely affected by a variety of issues: just take a moment to read about the all-too-horrific practice of shackling incarcerated women during pregnancy or the large amount of sexual assault inflicted on inmates with an unconventional gender identity.

But steps are being taken in the right direction to ensure that prisoners are treated humanely. Most mental health experts agree that the use of solitary confinement in prisons can result in long-lasting psychological damages. According to the ACLU, a bill was introduced in the Colorado state legislature this week to end Colorado prisons' use of solitary confinement. Some shocking numbers tell why this is clearly the humane thing to do:

In Colorado, 37 percent of those in solitary confinement are prisoners with mental illness or developmental disabilities – up from 15 percent just a decade ago. The more than 1,400 Colorado inmates in solitary confinement spend 23 hours a day in isolation, for 16 months on average, at an increased additional cost of up to $21,485 per year, per inmate.

Read a copy of the bill online.

The doctor who stepped up after the assassination of Dr. George Tiller is now facing serious intimidation from anti-choicers, who have made her their new target.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Spotted an article on Slate today that highlights a new book: Cinderella Ate My Daughter by feminist author Peggy Orenstein.

Her website describes the book:

The acclaimed author of the groundbreaking bestseller Schoolgirls reveals the dark side of pink and pretty in this wake-up call to parents: the rise of the girlie girl is not that innocent.

As a new mother, Peggy Orenstein was blindsided by the persistent ultra-feminine messages being sent to a new generation of little girls—from "princess-mania" to endless permutations of pink. How many times can you say no when your daughter begs for a pint-sized wedding gown, she wondered. How dangerous is pink and pretty anyway? Being a princess is just make-believe, isn't it? Does playing Cinderella shield little girls from early sexualization—or prime them for it?

I LOVE anything that questions the mass distribution of harmful gender role-reinforcing products to young girls that are far too easily accepted by society as "normal." Will be adding this to my reading list.

Huffington Post put up this video recently. It's a clip from a horrific show on TLC called "Toddlers & Tiaras" (which is about exactly what the title implies) that depicts one of the pageant mothers forcing her crying five year-old daughter to get her eyebrows waxed. The girl was traumatized from a previous waxing session during which her skin was ripped off.



Pure child abuse, and a prime example of how gender roles and beauty expectations operate in a vicious cycle. I'm sure this pageant mother's parent(s) forced the same twisted values on her. Even though I don't plan to have kids in my lifetime, sometimes I wish I could raise a daughter, if only to teach her that her self-worth goes beyond having well-shaped eyebrows.

Oh, and since it's Bad Ass Feminist Day (just because I say so), enjoy this blog post at Ms. about Sady Doyle's quest to get Michael Moore to fucking apologize already for calling the rape allegations against Julian Assange "all a bunch of hooey." Sady started the hash tag #MooreandMe on Twitter, where feminists are all a-gatherin' to tell Michael Moore just what we think of him (and of course there are some haters on the hash tag as well, but just ignore them). Four days into her anti-Moore campaign, Sady blogged:

No matter what they do to me, no matter how long Michael Moore ignores me, I am still going to be here outside the tower. At this point, if you want to fucking stop me from demanding that apology, you will have to get a gun and literally shoot me down. And if I survive that, I’m Tweeting from the hospital.

She's bold, to say the least. Check out #MooreandMe, it really is great fun.

And here's another bad ass feminist to round out your day: Nicola Briggs. Because if you haven't seen the video of her PWN'ing the pervert who sexually harassed her on the subway, stop what you're doing and watch it now.



Oh fucking yes.

Ack! I've fallen off the face of the blogosphere!

I'm still here. Bear with me.

And in the mean time, watch this video. It's a couple months old, but I just saw it and found it incredibly heart-breaking and, at the same time, uplifting. It's from the NoVo Foundation.

I hope some of you have been participating in the lovely Twitter hash tag #ihadanabortion, started by @IAmDrTiller. The tweeter behind @IAmDrTiller, Steph Herold, wrote:

When I started the #ihadanabortion hashtag, I was afraid no one would talk. You all exceeded my wildest expectations. LOVE!

It's phenomenal to see so many women sharing their experiences and breaking the silence around what should not be a taboo subject. It reminds me of when I helped organize an Abortion Speak-Out with my Feminist Collective when I was in college. Although face-to-face sharing is ideal, I love seeing modern technology used to connect women from around the world who might not get the opportunity to connect with one another otherwise.

You can read about #ihadanabortion on many sites, including Change.org, Chicago Sun-Times, and others. Wow.

I helped make this nifty little video for Women's eNews, where development intern Angela and I got to meander around downtown Manhattan and ask strangers about women's history. It yielded some interesting results. Enjoy! (I'm on the right...)



If you're around the NYC area, definitely try to make it to the launch of Opening the Way on October 23rd. Not just saying this because I work for Women's eNews... but I really was in awe at the abundance of women's history packed into this tiny area. I guarantee anyone who takes time to read this blog will enjoy it :)

Just wanted to say...



I'm glad we have a positive connotation attached to today to counter the ever-awful Columbus Day.

It's important to understand that today is not just a day to encourage being "out and proud," but also a day when folks across the country can "come out" in support of queer-identified, transgender, and gender nonconforming peoples. I've seen plenty of my friends dedicate their Facebook statuses and Tweets to today, which is a good way to show your support. But if you do want to use today to come out or stand up and show your pride, go for it. I'm queer-identified, and proud of it!

The Human Rights Campaign also has some good resources on what you can do today. And if you are planning on coming out today, there are some guides on the HRC site to help you. Enjoy the day, all!

Bill Cooksey, of WRKO-AM, wins Douchebag of the Week... or maybe even the year... for the disgusting language he used to "endorse" Republican state treasurer candidate Karyn E. Polito. These remarks were said by him on-air:

I think she’s hot. She’s tiny, she’s short. She’s got a banging little body on her. Facial wise, I give her about a seven. Body wise, I give her about an eight-and-a-half. Tight little butt. I endorse Karyn Polito.

For the record, Cooksey is a grown man, not an 18 year-old frat boy, contrary to what his language might demonstrate.

Be sure to cite this incident any time an ignorant person claims woman have complete access to political office. Because yes, we may be able to run for office, but what is the point if no one will take us seriously?

Objectification of women is a rampant problem. Yesterday, I was walking along W 71st Street, when three gentlemen behind me proceeded to talk loudly about my ass. Even a "fuck off" from me couldn't get them to shut up and stop leering at me in a way that made me want to take a shower. You know how it makes me feel when I get reduced to a piece of meat? It makes me feel like less of a person... like I'm not worth the same as them because I don't deserve to be known for my personality or my thoughts or my feelings. Even though I know they're wrong, an incident like what happened to me yesterday can break my spirit. Because sometimes, I worry that there will never be a day when a woman can walk down a sidewalk or run for office without some waste of life, piece of shit moron commenting on her ass.

Wow. Check out the "I Love My Boo" campaign, hitting subways now, produced by Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC) (hat tip to Feministing for the info). According to GMHC:

I Love My Boo is an important campaign because it features real young men of color loving each other passionately. It contextualizes gay relationships showing what is possible through love and respect. The models are not your average chiseled bodied gay men who tend to be featured in campaigns. Rather than sexualizing gay relationships, this campaign models caring, and highlights the importance of us taking care of each other. Featured throughout New York City, I Love My Boo directly challenges homophobia and encourages all who come across it to think critically rethink our notion of love.

How often are male-identified same-gender couples portrayed in this manner? Even I was shocked to see these images because I'm not entirely used to them. There needs to be so much more of an emphasis on same-gender couples of color, and I really respect this campaign for not only covering that area, but also having the guts to show couples being affectionate. I see an immeasurable amount of ads that show straight couples nuzzling, so no one should have a problem with this, unless they can openly admit that they agree with relegating queer-identified people to a second-class status.

This month, the "I Love My Boo" ads will be hitting 1000 subway cars and 150 subway platforms in NYC. I can't wait to see one. I know that it won't be long before I see several of them vandalized... but I still can't help but get all fuzzy and warm inside when I think about the progress we're making when we can display an ad all throughout NYC that features two men of color kissing. Wow.

This is pretty amazing.

Here's me making up for the lack of updates with LOTS of links to lovely feminist news, and with a picture of cute animals XD



A legislation has been introduced to END funding for abstinence-only education. Cue the Hallelujah chorus. In a press release, Congresswoman Lee stated: "The issues of unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections among our young people have reached a critical level. The best and most responsible way to protect them is through comprehensive sex education." Amen, sistah.

Interesting: "How 19th Century Prostitutes Were Among the Freest, Wealthiest, Most Educated Women of Their Time."

From Jezebel: "In what is perhaps a strange homage to Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Cosmopolitan has come up with '50 Great Things To Do With Your Breasts,' and guess what? Most of them revolve around dudes." Would you expect anything less from Cosmo?

A new poll shows that Latino voters are reluctant to embrace the GOP, despite the GOP's efforts to lure them in.

Lance Bass and my gay husband, Neil Patrick Harris, are speaking out against bullying of queer-identified youth, prompted by the recent suicide of Tyler Clementi. Lance even admits that he used to bully LGBTQ youth himself. But Queerty points out that we also need to hear from celebrities who "built their image on being bullies," e.g. 50 Cent, whose recent anti-gay pro-suicide Tweet got him in some deep shit.

Quite possibly the best submission to PostSecret I've ever seen.

Two (male) senators are halting the construction of the National Women's History Museum: "Their reasoning for blocking the National Women's History Museum, which would showcase the original, signed 19th amendment along tens of thousands of other artifacts central to women's history in the U.S., is that taxpayers might be asked to subsidize the museum in the future and that the museum would focus on abortion rights without 'without featuring any of the many contributions of the pro-life movement in America.'" GAH!

Dolce & Gabanna photoshopped Madonna within inches of her life in her newest spread for them.

A new series from Women's eNews, "Poverty - Tales from the Recession's Front Lines," explores the burdens placed on women during the recession. Also available in Spanish.