Oh, and since it's Bad Ass Feminist Day (just because I say so), enjoy this blog post at Ms. about Sady Doyle's quest to get Michael Moore to fucking apologize already for calling the rape allegations against Julian Assange "all a bunch of hooey." Sady started the hash tag #MooreandMe on Twitter, where feminists are all a-gatherin' to tell Michael Moore just what we think of him (and of course there are some haters on the hash tag as well, but just ignore them). Four days into her anti-Moore campaign, Sady blogged:

No matter what they do to me, no matter how long Michael Moore ignores me, I am still going to be here outside the tower. At this point, if you want to fucking stop me from demanding that apology, you will have to get a gun and literally shoot me down. And if I survive that, I’m Tweeting from the hospital.

She's bold, to say the least. Check out #MooreandMe, it really is great fun.

And here's another bad ass feminist to round out your day: Nicola Briggs. Because if you haven't seen the video of her PWN'ing the pervert who sexually harassed her on the subway, stop what you're doing and watch it now.



Oh fucking yes.

Wow, just when I thought Mel Gibson's existence couldn't get anymore appalling, the internet gets ahold of his latest disgustingly misogynist and racist rant. It was recorded by his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva. "Horrific," "offensive," and "repulsive" are all understatements.

Here's a part of it, from AlterNet, where Gibson yells at Grigorieva for looking like a "Vegas whore." SERIOUS TRIGGER WARNING.

You go out in public and it's a fucking embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking bitch in heat. And if you get raped by a pack of niggers it will be your fault. Alright? Because you provoked it. You are provocatively dressed all the time with your fake boobs that you feel you have to show off. I don't like it. I don't want that woman. I don't want you. I don't trust you. I don't love you.

Even though this is absolutely detestable language, I'm posting this here because this is an unfortunately common sentiment today: dress like a "whore," and you're asking for it. Not too long ago, I was out at a bar with some friends, dressed in my usual jeans, boots, and a tank top with a cardigan over it. Some charming gentleman tried to hit on me, I took him I was married to get him off my back, to which he responded, "If you were my wife and you went out looking like that, I would smack you around." Nice.

The Sexist actually recently posted a really nice PSA from Scotland that dealt with this issue.



Seriously, this shouldn't be such a hard concept to grasp. Women NEVER "ask for it," and even if a woman does go out in public wearing a short dress or whatever and ends up getting raped, the fault ultimately lies with the rapist. To say otherwise is preposterous.

I'm encouraging everyone to head over to AlterNet to check out a recent article, "My Boyfriend Stole My Birth Control": When Men Force Women to Get Pregnant Against Their Will.

Scary new evidence is showing that a significant number of women experience their partners trying to steal away their bodily control through "reproductive coercion," or the act of forcing a pregnancy onto someone.

In the largest study of this phenomenon to date, “Pregnancy Coercion, Intimate Partner Violence and Unintended Pregnancy,” published in the January issue of the journal Contraception, lead researcher Elizabeth Miller and others surveyed nearly 1,300 16- to 29-year-old women who’d sought a variety of services at five different Northern California reproductive health clinics. Among those who had experienced intercourse, i.e., who could be at risk of unintended pregnancy, not only did 53 percent of respondents say they’d experienced physical or sexual violence from a partner, but one in five said they had experienced pregnancy coercion; 15 percent said they experienced birth control sabotage, including hiding or flushing birth control pills down the toilet, intentional breaking of condoms and removing contraceptive rings or patches. These figures were consistent from clinic to clinic.

Currently, this phenomenon is little-known, and the prevailing stereotype is still "the woman—call her the femme fertile—who conspires to get pregnant, perhaps by 'forgetting' to take her birth control pills, as a way to 'trap a man' and force marriage—or at least keep him in her life." But people need to know that there is another scarily common situation out there: the boyfriend or husband who, disgusted by a woman's ability to have reproductive control, goes to heinous measures to force pregnancies, abortions, or miscarriages onto his partner.

This is some seriously fucked-up stuff. Spread the word, feminists. Please.

My college graduation is rapidly approaching, and it's final project/exam time. For my wonderful Masculinities class, we're required to do a "liberating action," that is, some kind of activism that draws on what we've learned throughout the class. I've chosen to make small cards that can be carried around and given out to street harassers - whether they cat-call, make inappropriate comments, unwelcome sexual advances, or any unwarranted physical contact. I explain my reasoning for doing this in my accompanying paper:

Every time I have to walk down any street alone, I find myself preparing to be harassed. It’s sickening that I should have to prepare myself for such a thing, but the truth is that I cannot remember the last time I walked down Main Street by myself or with girlfriends, and was not at least honked at by a car full of men. When I go to the bars, I see men standing to the side of the dance floor, watching the women dancing, picking out which one is the hottest or the sluttiest, and then making their moves, which always consists of latching onto her backside without so much as a “hello.” The worst part is that I can’t even really hate them for what they do, because I know that it isn’t entirely their fault; they were just taught in a variety of ways by a variety of people that to be a “man” is to treat women as objects to be ogled. The sad truth is that, “Men learn that to effectively perform masculinity and to protect a masculine identity, they must, in many instances, ignore a woman’s pain and obscure her viewpoint” (Quinn 397). To the harassers, the cat-callers, and the gropers, there are no feelings or souls attached to our bodies, and we could not be their mothers, sisters, girlfriends, or friends because we are not really people, and that is what allows them to continue to do what they do.

It’s time to start reminding these men that, contrary to what they have been forced to believe, what they do does affect us. A honk or a “hey sexy” might seem harmless, but I know that every time I get that attention on the street, it hurts me. It hurts even more when I can’t respond to this inexcusable behavior because it just gets too exhausting to say something to every jerk on the street. Therefore, for my liberating action, I want to make it easier for me and every other woman to call harassers out on their behavior, and for the harassers to realize that their actions affect us.

I'm sure some people might argue that this isn't the best way to handle harassment, and I think it is important to discuss what the best way to respond to being harassed is, but these are for the women who feel that this method is the best for them.

You can download the cards I made as a Word document here.

Please note that the cards are intended to be printed double-sided so that one side has English text, and the other side has the same text in Spanish. Feel free to make any adjustments you see necessary and to post these to your own blog/site (I just ask that you link back to here). And I would love to hear your experiences with carrying these around and distributing them - whether through comments on this post, or through e-mail.

Good luck, and stay safe.

There is some chilling new evidence that indicates that the rates of domestic violence increased in 2009. Interestingly enough, according to FBI statistics, many cities reported falling crime rates:

FBI figures indicate law-enforcement agencies throughout the nation reporting a decrease of 4.4 percent in the number of violent crime offenses for the first six months of 2009, compared with the same period in 2008. The violent crime category includes murder, forcible rape, robbery and aggravated assault.

Nationwide, FBI statistics for 2009 show a 10 percent decrease in murders.

Unfortunately, the FBI doesn't track domestic violence homicides as a separate category, so it's difficult to tell if DV cases are are on the rise.

But phone calls to state anti-violence coalitions and to the Washington, D.C.-based National Network to End Domestic Violence are revealing that in many states, domestic violence deaths rose in 2009, sometimes dramatically.

Some are speculating that the increased violence is being caused by stress related to the recession - that lost jobs, debt, and evictions may be contributing. What does everyone else think? Why the increase in domestic violence? And most important, what can we do about it?

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network

Today is brought to you by the letter "C" for CREEPY.

We, unfortunately, know that people who crave sex on demand without strings attached can purchase sex dolls, ranging from your everyday "blow up" doll found in sex shops for $19.95 to high-end models, in which you can customize every aspect of your doll, right down to her pubic hair.

Going even further... a New Jersey company has created the world's first "sex robot," a scantily clad rubber woman named Roxxxy whose mouth stays permanently open and can not only satisfy her owner's sexual needs, but their needs for pillow talk as well.

"Sex only goes so far – then you want to be able to talk to the person," said Douglas Hines, founder of the company that created the robot.

She comes with a variety of prerecorded phrases ("I love holding hands with you," for example) but you can also (brace yourself) connect her to a laptop so she can download updates from the internet to expand her vocabulary and, ahem, capabilities.

Owners can also select different personalities for Roxxxy, from "Wild Wendy" to "Frigid Farrah." GAH.

My main problem with sex dolls that are carefully crafted to emulate women is that it reinforces the idea that women should adopt a passive role during sex - a role that involves becoming a mere hole to be penetrated. Additionally, I speculate that men are attracted to sex dolls because it allows them to have some form of "sex" without the work - without the talking, the seducing, the awkward goodbye afterwards - but the fact is that sex shouldn't come without all those things. Sex involves communicating with another person, whether you wish to see this as a positive or negative aspect. If we start manufacturing sex dolls whose jobs are to shut up and be penetrated, how will men who purchase these dolls behave when it comes time to actually have sex with a real person? It's provocative to suggest that sex dolls can lead to real women being raped, but... I think it can. And more commonly, it can lead to general mistreatment of women: the whole "shut up and get in the sack" mentality that stems from the good ol' patriarchy.

Now, some might argue that this new "sex robot" comes with a personality and a voice, thereby debunking all I've said above. My response is that I see no good coming from this. It's one thing to get sexual satisfaction from a sex toy, but to get emotional satisfaction as well? Isn't this just removing us even further from reality?

Hines said he was inspired to create the robot after a friend died in the 9/11 attacks, and he began to think about preserving his friend's personality for his grieving loved ones to enjoy.

All of this just sounds delusional to me. There is no way a robot can be a healthy and satisfactory substitution for genuine human interaction and love. To replace a partner or a friend with a rubber doll and a voice box is to hold onto something that isn't real. I think that by unveiling this "sex robot," Roxxxy's creators are headed down a dangerous path.

The folks in charge of the casting of the newest Real World season, set in Washington, D.C., picked a real winner when they cast Andrew Woods. Since I'm a Real World junkie, I was excited to watch the recently aired pilot episode of D.C., only to discover that I'm repeatedly going to have to throw objects at my television every time he talks. I said, "Uh oh, I'm going to have problems with this guy" when he admitted that he got fired from a newspaper for "trying to offend women and lesbians and stuff like that." Don't be fooled: this Real World cartoonist is by no means similar to the lovable and adorable cartoonist cast in Real World: San Francisco, Judd Winick.

The Sexist published some of Andrew Woods' cartoons, and they're horrifying, to say the least. Woods is clearly a fan of rape jokes.

Text: Seducing women doesn't have to be some expensive ordeal, just funnel some cheap vodka into half a bottle of sparkling cider... as long as it looks like champagne, she'll drink it!

The above entry and the post I linked to on The Sexist aren't meant to be celebrity gossip. It's important to publish Woods' illustrations as a reminder that joking about rape makes you an insensitive asshole. Maybe (and by "maybe" I mean "undoubtedly") Andrew can't understand the reality of rape because his chances of actually being raped or sexually assaulted are significantly lower than they are for a woman, but his ignorance is no defense.

I suppose people like Andrew Woods are willing to sink to the lowest of the low for a cheap laugh, but the rest of us have something that these soulless morons lack: morale.

Two positive pieces of news regarding women's rights in the Middle East:

In Pakistan, the National Assembly passed a law increasing the penalty for sexual harassment. It now must be passed in the senate, but let's keep our fingers crossed. If passed, the law would increase the penalty for sexual harassment from one year to three years in prison and would add a fine of up to 500,000 Pakistani rupees (6,000 American dollars).

In Saudi Arabia, women's rights activists are launching a "Black Ribbon Campaign" to demand women's rights in the country. Activists are asking those who support women's rights to wear a black ribbon or bracelet. The campaign has three goals: "that Saudi women be allowed to represent themselves in official and government agencies without a male guardian; that Saudi women be treated as citizens equal to Saudi men; and that Saudi women be allowed to enjoy rights and privileges that are currently restricted including the rights to travel, work, study, inherit, gain custody of children, marry, divorce, drive cars."

This is horrifying.

In California, a 15-year-old girl was beaten and gang-raped outside her high school homecoming dance for two hours on Friday night.

According to police, there were as many as a dozen people watching this happen... and instead of calling the police, they laughed, took pictures, and joined in.

Honestly, what kind of sick person do you have to be to watch something like this happen and not do a damn thing about it?

Thankfully, police were finally called after a female student overhead people talking about the rape. Police found the teenage girl semi-conscious near a picnic table, and now the survivor is in the hospital with injuries, though none are life-threatening. Two suspects were taken into custody, but as many as five other men are said to have attacked her.

What an utter nightmare. In combating rape and sexual assault, we tend to forget to educate people not only against sexually assaulting other people and against walking alone at night, but also to educate anyone who might witness a crime like this to call 911 immediately.

This is no excuse for witnessing something like this and doing nothing but laugh and snap photos. I sincerely hope the police not only prosecute the rapist assholes, but also the people who did nothing.

In the Bahamas, a person can only accuse a partner of marital rape if they are legally separated or in the process of getting a divorce. I suppose Phyllis Schlafly would fully commend this policy, since she believes that "when you get married you have consented to sex." Rape can happen in any situation and within any relationship, including marriage.

Now, there is a bill in the Bahamian legislature that would fully criminalize marital rape, and not surprisingly, it's drawing controversy. From the Associated Press:

The bill already has caused debate on radio talk shows, with some islanders saying women could file false rape charges as leverage for alimony, child support or custody. Others have said the bill contradicts traditional Christian values.

Wow, people really give women no credit whatsoever. Keep your fingers crossed that this bill passes for the safety of Bahamian women.

I don't even have words to describe this. Horrific, appalling, disturbing, deplorable. Men in Afghanistan have won the "right" to starve their wives in order to control them and force them to meet their sexual demands:

Bowing to international pressure and unprecedented protests by hundreds of women on the streets of Kabul, the Afghan government promised in April to review a new law imposing severe restrictions on women in Shiite Muslim families.

Last week, though, Human Rights Watch discovered that a revised version of the Shiite Personal Status Law had been quietly put into effect at the end of July — meaning that Shiite men in Afghanistan now have the legal right to starve their wives if their sexual demands are not met and that Shiite women must obtain permission from their husbands to even leave their houses, "except in extreme circumstances."

Many Afghan men fully support this law because they enjoy the ability to exercise control over their wives. In Afghanistan, equality remains a myth.




And sadly, allowing starvation isn't the only thing promised by this new law:

According to Human Rights Watch, the new law also "grants guardianship of children exclusively to their fathers and grandfathers" and "effectively allows a rapist to avoid prosecution by paying 'blood money' to a girl who was injured when he raped her."

I don't even know what we can do about this, other than spread the word. I feel really powerless.

There was a well-deserved backlash after the Marriott claimed a woman who was raped in the hotel parking lot was careless and partly at fault for her attack. But thankfully, the Marriott was rescinded its victim-blaming defense.

Women's advocates said Marriott's handling of the case is every rape victim's nightmare come true — and a major reason why rape remains one of the most underreported crimes, despite changes like shield laws that make a victim's sexual history irrelevant.

"The fear of being blamed for being raped is one of the most common reasons that victims of sexual assault don't come forward," said Nancy Kushins, executive director of Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services.

Defenses that blame the victim to some extent are not uncommon, as insurance companies try to minimize their losses. But Jim Nugent, chairman of the litigation section of the Connecticut Bar Association, said doing so in this case would be odd, given the especially horrific nature of a rape witnessed by the victim's children.

Good news indeed, but the hotel's lawyers should have never developed this defense in the first place. Victim-blaming is inexcusable.

From The Huffington Post:

A Connecticut hotel where a woman was raped at gunpoint in front of her children says the victim was careless and negligent.

The papers filed last month in Superior Court by the Stamford Marriott Hotel & Spa say the victim "failed to exercise due care for her own safety and the safety of her children and proper use of her senses and facilities."

Prosecutors say Gary Fricker assaulted the woman in her minivan in the hotel's parking garage in front of her two children, then ages 3 and 5. Fricker is now serving 20 years in prison.

The hotel's lawyers were responding to a lawsuit claiming the hotel failed to prevent the 2006 attack.

The woman's lawyer didn't immediately return a message Thursday.

Because reprimanding a woman for not being "careful enough" is a proper response to a her being raped. Not "the attacker deserves to have his balls removed," not "we're sorry we don't provide more security in parking lots," not any type of sympathy or apology. Just "why weren't you more careful, you dumb bitch?"

Send a fucking e-mail to the fucking Marriott right the fuck now.

The Summer 2009 issue of Ms. Magazine will be hitting newsstands on August 4th. There's some great stuff in it, so be sure to pick up a copy. I want to highlight two of my favorite stories you can find in the issue:

1. "A Man Who Trusted Women" by Michele Kort

As I read this tribute to Dr. Tiller, my eyes welled up with tears. Kort profiles Dr. Tiller, from his decision to start providing abortions to his horrible death. He was a man who trusted women to make the right decisions, and his compassion and trust earned him endless hardships. But he stayed strong, because he knew he had thousands more women to help:

The legal battles were exhaustive and expensive for Tiller, although he "held up like a soldier," says Monnat. Nonetheless, his friends worried about him. "The last
time I talked to him," says Susan Hill, "I said, 'Why are you still doing this, George? You certainly don't need to. Why don't you just retire, enjoy life?'

"He said, 'I can't, I can't leave these women. There's no one else for them.'"

Definitely a worthwhile read.


2. "Baghdad Underground" by Anna Badkhen

This is an upsetting, but inspiring, profile of the women in the "Underground Railroad," a small network of shelters, hidden underground mostly in Baghdad, for women who have been raped, battered, forced into prostitution, or have been rejected by their families for "dishonoring" them. The Railroad was started by 35 Iraqi activists who called themselves the Organization of Women's Freedom in Iraq. So far, the underground shelters have helped thousands of women escape from misogynistic violence and persecution.

It is depressing, to say the least, that these women have been so abused and mistreated that they must hide underground to escape it, but it is wonderful that they have a safe place to go. Things are terrible for women in Iraq, but women always find a way to help each other.

Be sure to pick up a copy of Ms. Magazine come August 4th to read these stories and others!

I'm still a poor little sick blogger, so I'm just going to put together a short Buffet of the Week until I feel well enough to write a substantial post. In the mean time, I've quarantined myself to my bedroom. At least So You Think You Can Dance is on tonight.

• New Hampshire is now the SIXTH state in the nation to allow same-sex marriage. WOOT!


• An article in Newsweek asks: can same-sex marriage save the economy? Ignore the offensive and not even remotely clever headline.


• This morning, President Obama delivered a speech in Cairo, Egypt, where he addressed global women's rights.


• This Orville Redenbacher commercial made my heart smile.


• File this under "appalling." A man has been arrested for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman and broadcasting it over the internet. I'm not only disgusted with the man who did this, but also the pervs who watched it.


• Many polls are showing that the majority of the public supports the confirmation of Sonia Sotomayor.


• Gay penguins! Gay penguins!


• Horrifying piece of information #1: A man put an ad on CraigsList that called for someone to come into his house and rape his wife. Horrifying piece of information #2: someone actually answered it.

I laughed really hard.

This is outrageous. Women in Texas are being charged thousands of dollars to get rape examinations.



Please contact the office of the Texas Attorney General at crimevictims@oag.state.tx.us and tell them you will not stand for this. You can copy the letter I sent if you're so angry that you're at a loss for words:

To whom it may concern:

I am writing to express my outrage over the fact that the state of Texas is charging rape victims thousands of dollars for rape kits. By doing this, you are essentially punishing women for cooperating with the authorities. What kind of message does this send? Already, large amounts of rape victims avoid reporting the crime due to emotional trauma, and to tack on an unreasonably large fee only further discourages terrified and humiliated women from going to the authorities. This means less rapists behind bars and more roaming the streets. Don't sacrifice the safety of the women of Texas, and stop charging victims for crimes they had no power to stop.

Sincerely,
[Name]

Some of you might have heard the horrifying story of the woman who was raped in a subway station four years ago while an MTA worker just stared. I actually based a slam poem I wrote on her story, which I'm going to perform at Take Back the Night next weekend. If you haven't heard Maria's story, it goes like this (trigger warning): she was stuck alone on the subway with a creepy pervert one night. When he began to touch her feet, Maria was so distracted that she missed her stop. She immediately got off at the next stop and began to run, while the douchebag followed her. He grabbed her, pulled her down on the deserted platform, and held her down while raping her. When she screamed and cried, the man held her over the train tracks and threatened to drop her if she didn't stop. The most disturbing part: Maria was looking directly into the eyes of a man working the token booth while it was happening, and he just stared. The MTA worker pressed a button to notify the police, but he didn't even bother to try and scare the rapist away. Now, Maria is publicly denouncing the MTA worker. The MTA issued a statement in response:

"It is important to note that while NYC Transit workers are trained to the highest degree of professionalism in their assigned jobs, they are not and should not be expected to perform in the capacity of law enforcement officers."

But Maria retorts:

"He could have just gotten over the intercom and said, 'Hey! Stop what you're doing! I've called the cops!' Anything like that would have helped. He didn't have to get out of the booth. I don't expect him to be a police officer. But he could have definitely said something over the intercom, or perhaps having a quicker system of notifying the police would have been effective, too."

The police took 10 minutes to show up, and immediately the rapist ran away and was never caught. The token booth worker wasn't the only one to call the police either. While Maria was being raped, a train pulled into the station and the conductor, not bothering to attempt to scare away the rapist either, pushed a similar button to notify the cops, and drove the train away.

After the assault, Maria tried to continue attending grad school at NYU, but she had panic attacks every time she rode the subway and had to quit school. She's now in therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder and depression. Maria took her story to court, where a judge told her that the MTA workers had no obligation to do anything other than signal for police officers. While reading this story, I was tempted to pity Maria, but I don't think she needs it. It requires a tremendous amount of strength to go public with a horrifying story like this. I admire her courage.

Two days ago, a Human Rights Watch report was released showing that there are at least 12,669 untested rape kits in Los Angeles County, the largest known backlog of its kind in the US.

Holy. Crap.

They estimated that thousands more rape kits have been destroyed in LA County as well. Interviews showed that many of the rape victims assumed that the DNA did not match in the database or no evidence was found when they did not hear their results. According to Ms. Magazine:

The backlog on rape kits is not unique to Los Angeles, and 2004 federal legislation advocated by the Feminist Majority and other women's rights groups, renewed this year, addressed the problem by authorizing funding for local police departments to catch up on DNA analyses. L.A.'s crime lab was awarded nearly $4 million, but lost nearly $500,000 of that due to lax oversight. And the backlog has worsened.

It really saddens me that when terrified women can muster up just enough courage to undergo a humiliating and time-consuming rape kit, their evidence is not even tested. It's a horrifying thought and it really makes me lose any faith I had left in our justice system.

I'm encouraging all of you to check out the very wonderful Project Lifesize channel on YouTube! It consists of a group of fabulous women who provide videos on various topics, and are dedicated to promoting the idea that women of all sizes are beautiful. They like to collaborate with different bloggers, and this week, I had the privilege of giving them a topic suggestion. The topic I gave them was - drumroll - street harassment. So far, they've covered it wonderfully. Here's a sample; this one is done by Meghan:



Be sure to head on over to their YouTube channel to watch the rest of 'em!