Oh, you didn't hear? Pre-marital sex is a dream-stealer. It's also as dangerous as juggling machetes.

This information is courtesy of Derek Dye, master juggler, hilarious entertainer, and abstinence educator. Through the magic of humor and balancing things on his face, Derek will tell your kids that alcohol, drugs, and pre-marital sex will destroy their lives.

Ironically though, he's perfectly fine with juggling knives about three feet away from your child's face. Watch his promotional video, it's worth it.

So glad my tax dollars are being put to good use.