Saturday, April 5, 2008

Cosmopolitan never ceases to amaze me  

I'm going to state this right now: I hate Cosmopolitan. Aside from maybe Maxim, I have never seen a more sexist, disgusting, heterosexist magazine. Between stories about "how to please your man," and the numerous stick-thin models, I can't even bring myself to read it. I'll admit that the magazine isn't all bad - there are some helpful articles about sexual health and loving your body - but I wish that the other appalling 95% of the magazine wasn't there.

I was flipping through my sister's copy of the April 2008 issue and I found a story: "What if men edited Cosmo?" and it features a fake Cosmopolitan cover with stories that were "written by men" (I'm not sure if they were actually submitted by men or just written by women who were pretending to be men - I'm guessing the latter). Here are the most disgusting of the "male Cosmo" stories:

"'God, You're Almost Too Big' - 21 Sexy Lines He Wants to Hear"

"Why Your Period Hurts Your Guy As Much As It Hurts You"

"Quiz: Are You Spending Enough Time Naked?"

"How to Handle a Bitch. Hint: Start With a Good Spanking"

"Four Ways to Make Him a Killer Ham Sandwich"

"The Secret to Soulful Sex: how not talking - in and out of the bedroom - makes your sack sessions ultraromantic"

"Swimsuit Special: the skimpiest bikinis on the planet"

"Sexy Hair - Down There: Five steps to being a below-the-belt head-turner"

"Decode His Body Language: what his ass-grabbing style says about his boyfriend potential"

Classy. Not only do each and every one of these story titles completely degrade and stereotype women, but whoever wrote this made all men out to be disgusting pigs. You're a winner, Cosmopolitan, a real winner.

What next?

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2 comments: to “ Cosmopolitan never ceases to amaze me

  • April 7, 2008 at 10:45 AM  

    I think a better title would have been, "if Maxim readers edited Cosmo." That I'd believe. It does degrade men...and normalizes sexist male-centered selfish behavior!

  • April 8, 2008 at 1:30 AM  

    Here's how I interpret those titles:

    "I'm so insecure I need you to constantly pretend that my peen is huge!"

    "I am in no way sensitive to your pain so I am going to complain about it, because I hate when you are moody and not at my beck and call."

    "All you're good for is sex."

    "If your girlfriend talks back, smack her."
    (I know the title intended to be about the S&M kind of smacking, but really, it promotes violence. It asserts men's power over women in a shitty way).

    "Bitch, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich."

    "Keep your mouth shut, stop talking...just do me and be quiet."
    (Always nice to encourage women to keep their mouths shut and obey their men).

    "You're a piece of meat, so wear these bikinis to display the goods!"

    "As if your life wasn't busy enough, you should now be styling your pubic hair in a way that pleases men...without regard to how irritating it may be to you!"

    "You exist for the pleasure of men. Let your ass be grabbed. You are an object."
    (This is disgusting.. ASS GRABBING STYLE???) Well I dont know about you guys, I knew Adam loved me when he grabbed my ass in that special way.


    I also think this is insulting to men. I'm pretty sure Adam would be insulted by it... and I am too. If the actual DECENT men wrote it, it might say things like "You're beautiful, you dont need to spend 5 hours on your makeup for me" ... or, "Lets eat some delicious steak, save the smoothies for later"...or "Stop watching america's next top model, you're gorgeous the way you are".
    Most men I know arent assholes like that, but I'm so glad cosmo is reinforcing the ones who are.